Thursday, January 29, 2009

Dead Clerks Chapter 2

The characters again belong to not only Charlaine Harris and Alan Ball, but also Kevin Smith. If you have never seen Clerks, I highly recommend. Again using AB's version of Tara. Reviews and critiques are still welcomed. It will only help me to become a better writer. Rated M for very explicit, vulgar language

Chapter 2 - Video Store (Amelia),

*Don't ask me this is Sooks dream*

Hmm...I forgot to lock the door. Fuck!!! I walked in…didn't notice anything out of place. I shrugged my shoulders, and assumed the position. I hopped my ass on the counter, stretched out my legs, and started reading the Shreveport Times newspaper that I didn't pay for (heh). Flipping through the pages, looking in the society pages, I saw a pic of Sook's yummy ex-undead-Viking-boyfriend with some young-ass model smiling at her. Oh snap! Even though she broke up with him, she still cared about that walking corpse. Glancing out the window briefly, I saw the two loser vamps outside. I gotta tell her.

Ding! (Bell on the door)

I silently huffed. Fucking customers! Why can't they go to Blockbuster? Who gives a damn it’s the next town over? They have a broader collection than this shit. I looked at her over my paper. Selah Pumphrey. I hate that bitch. I could feel her snobby ass looking at me. Hell, even her Bob Mackie suit looked snooty.

“How can I help you?” I asked, expelling a puff of air and without looking up.

“Yes, I'm looking for a movie,” she said rather haughtily.

“What's the name?” I asked, flipping a page.

“Gone with the Wind. Are you not going to assist me?” she asked, getting annoyed with me. Fuck the skank.

“Check the classic section. It should be there,” I mumbled, thumbing a page.

“Well, aren't you going to get up?” Frustration at critical mass for this one. Her voice was shaky.

“Nope.” Oh snap! Pantera is going to be in Shreveport , must score tickets, I thought to myself.

“Where is the manager?” she asked, getting huffy.

“You are looking at her.” I wonder will Tray take me?

“I can't believe the poor customer service here.” That did it.

“Listen, Selah, or whatever your name is. I'm going to give you a little piece of advice. I know you are only renting that movie because you are dating Bill Compton. Just to let you know, he only likes that movie because his ex--- ya know her, Sookie---likes the movie. He still is in love with her, won't get over her, and using you as a temporary blood-sack fuck, hoping that Sookie will take him back. When that happens, you will be a distant memory, a regrettable one, but it will be distant.”

She let out a growl, and stomped out. Heh, bye bitch!

Oh damn, I forgot to put in the video order for the store. I found a sticky note. Judging by some of these titles, we are starting to cater to the vampire community, mostly porn. This should be interesting, I thought as I picked up the phone to call. I hope they're still open. Great Gary, the video guy answered.

“Hey, Gary, this is Amelia over here at Grabbit-Kwik Video in Bon Temps. I need to place an order. You won't believe this list.” I started cracking up, snickering.

Ding! (Bell on the door)

I spotted a customer coming in, an old lady., She kinda reminded me of my Nana Bert. I have fond memories of her. She introduced me to the magical plant {wink}.

Switching my attention back to Gary on the phone, “Okay are you ready? Suck My Bloody Cock Pt. 1 & 2, Lesbian Love Vamp Style, Fang-gang-bang, Cum On Me Bloody, the 3-D version (That's some sick shit, I thought to myself)…”

The old lady came to the counter.

“Hold a sec, Gary,” I said, turning the phone away from my ear. “Yes ma'am, how can I help you?”

“Yes, I was looking for Casablanca, and I noticed it wasn't over there. Did someone take it out?” she inquired

“Well, the last person that checked it out never returned it. I'm on the phone with the distributor. I'll add it to this order,” I told her reassuringly. I put the phone back to my ear, checking that he was still there.

“Gary, I have some more videos to order. Okay, ready? Blood Bag Swapping, Bloody Bitches, Bite Deez Nutz, Fang-a-licious, Snatch My Bloody Pussy, Bloody Nut Sacks, Deep Throat with Fang, Bambi, Casablanca.”

I glanced at the old lady who still stood there as if she was trying to get my attention. I placed the phone receiver on my shoulder, looked back at her, and asked "Yeah?" smacking my gum.

"Ask the young man if he has "Geriatric Gang Bangers Pt 5."


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